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recurring anxiety dream

by Secret Sleep

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1.
Sweep it away with the silent treatment You wash it all down like you just don’t mean it I won’t make this about me for too long Afraid of the sound when the sky starts falling I’m barely awake so she just tries drawing It down, all around me when I’m gone And everybody knows, the way the story goes I want to go home In time to hide away, from all the things I say So I can be alone I try to escape but I can’t stop breathing And drop to the ground with the sinking feeling I don’t know why I make you feel so small Remember the day when I just stopped sleeping Got carried away with the things that I’m keeping I don’t know how to save it after all And everybody knows, the way the story goes I want to go home In time to hide away, from all the things I say So I can be alone When they find out I’ll never get too far You take my place in the never or the stars And everybody knows, the way the story goes I want to go home In time to hide away, from all the things I say So I can be alone
2.
Policy 02:57
An online riot stand out, it’s all true You’re left out in the cold with so much left to do They say my name like it’s another part of me We’re tying off the rope in my own private ecstasy There’s nothing left to see, it’s all policy now You tell me everything is all right You put it all on me, when it’s plain to see oh Come on wake up, we’re leaving tonight You try to light the fire, but it won’t keep you warm They’re drowning in the streets just so they can see the storm We open up the floodgates to eminent domain They’re gonna take you break you bleed you and it’s all the same There’s nothing left to see, it’s all policy now You tell me everything is all right You put it all on me, when it’s plain to see oh Come on wake up, we’re leaving tonight They try to ransom it, but they’re so full of shit They’re gonna take it all away and that’s ok they’ll never calm you down They’ll get away with it, 'cause they’re all hypocrites They’ll run away and rob you blind
3.
I don’t know about the space electric I don’t know about the microwaves I wrap my head inside the line projected And clutch my memories as they fade away It’s true, that’s all I’m into The other side of blue They knew, with everything I do On the other side of blue And everyday it burns away, it’s gone He drives the stake and stares into the sun He looks insane just like the lines suggested With cosine functions we can find the waves We break the math behind the lives contested Reflections passed because they light the way It’s true, that’s all I’m into The other side of blue They knew, with everything I do On the other side of blue And everyday it burns away, it’s gone He drives the stake and stares into the sun With broken glass I try to stay awake I’m flying high above the motorcade I wrap myself inside the things I made for you It’s all I’m gonna do On the other side of blue It’s true, that’s all I’m into The other side of blue They knew, with everything I do On the other side of blue And everyday it burns away, it’s gone He drives the stake and stares into the sun
4.
Dead Sea 02:35
Just don’t say how much Just don’t say how much Just don’t say how much is enough Shut down, I write it off again The silences and existential dread Just saving face won’t save your vanity Like swimming in the Dead Sea You know how far I’ll go You know how far I’ll go You know how far I’ll go, tune it up Shut down, I write it off again The silences and existential dread Just saving face won’t save your vanity Like swimming in the Dead Sea
5.
I don’t know why I’m so lazy You say you don’t care She takes the slack without turning back But now I can’t see her anywhere She took my car and now she’s tearing it all down This feels like someplace that I used to go I wish they’d tell me all the things we don’t need to know It’s so sad and it’s always too much This time it’s all the same The night turns black and it’s just like that And now I’ll never come back again It went too far so now she’s tearing it all down This feels like someplace that I used to go I wish they’d tell me all the things we don’t need to know
6.
With a cold spoon of honey we can act like we have money Let’s pretend, I know It’s always the same just like any other day We pretend, I know With the hollow tree that lands on me And pins me to the wall It seems there’s nothing left of me at all At a show we should go don’t let anybody know And away we go I got myself a ticket though I know I’ll never win it We pretend, I know When the hollow tree that lands on me And breaks me till I fall She sees there’s nothing left of me at all And the paper tree is left so lost on me a solid B And now it’s left so gone, so long With a standing breeze so still it rains on me, an empty seat With nothing left to say, so long When the hollow tree that lands on me And breaks me till I fall She sees there’s nothing left of me at all She sees there’s nothing left of me at all
7.
Satellite 03:16
Say goodnight before the end of the world I nailed the landing with the strangest girl, but I know Won’t you stay on the line, it’s all for you ICBM out of the nuclear sky Comes crashing down like 1959, and I know Won’t you stay on the line, it’s all for you Satellite on the mind, it traces what we say and where we go when I Got to make it on time, the paranoia’s real it’s what we feel with my Satellite on the mind, I wish you’d turn it off Her brain insane and painted there on the wall Beneath your shadow standing 10 feet tall, and you know Got to stay on the line, it’s all for you The mourning hearse speeds through the smoke and fire You’re counted first but then you’re last on the wire, and we know Got to stay on the line, it’s all for you Satellite on the mind, it traces what we say and where we go when I Got to make it on time, the paranoia’s real it’s what we feel with my Satellite on the mind, I wish you’d turn it off Now I can’t help myself And for now, nobody else has seen what’s on my screen Or brought that lonely song to my cell Or tracked me someplace I can’t tell Satellite on the mind, it traces what we say and where we go when I Got to make it on time, the paranoia’s real it’s what we feel with my Satellite on the mind, I wish you’d turn it off
8.
Sell me on your sympathy And steal away our liberty oh no I save up all the apathy The silencing won’t let you speak Appreciate the gravity While bleeding out insanity oh no You steal away my ecstasy Won’t let you speak just silence me No you can’t take away all the pain you promised me But I can steal away all the days you long to see So you stand on the edge ‘til the end for you and me Your “Constitutionality” Legitimize the enemy oh no Electrify your vanity The silencing won’t let you speak You’re cast in some reality That burns in your pathology oh no Corrupt our own psychology We’ll let you think your thoughts for me No you can’t take away all the pain you promised me But I can steal away all the days you long to see So you stand on the edge ‘til the end for you and me Abandon all our history And manifested destiny oh no You steal away my ecstasy The silencing won’t let you speak No you can’t take away all the pain you promised me But I can steal away all the days you long to see So you stand on the edge ‘til the end for you and me
9.
You drift away for way too long With sleepy eyes it seems so wrong This headache weighs upon my head instead the walking dead Won’t call my name so let’s move on Thanks for nothing, as you listen in the dark Thanks for nothing, ignite that legendary spark Thanks for nothing, without a trace I leave my mark Thanks for nothing Walk with me and wear the crown With so many ways to bring you down So lost in thought without a sound again and again and again and again It seems so strange, that’s all for now Thanks for nothing, as you listen in the dark Thanks for nothing, ignite that legendary spark Thanks for nothing, without a trace I leave my mark Thanks for nothing It’s not lost on me They can’t hear but that’s ok They’re never lost in what you say You stay in here all night and day to stay to celebrate As if there’s any other way Thanks for nothing, as you listen in the dark Thanks for nothing, ignite that legendary spark Thanks for nothing, without a trace I leave my mark Thanks for nothing It’s not lost on me
10.
Sleepwalker 03:07
Yeah I do Yeah with my sleep debt I’m so tired Of staying blue and feeling wired, will you I do Well it’s always the same and all that I do To keep it strange and turned up with you, will you? I will Yeah it’s too late to ever bring me back You pick me up and then we take the slack You wake me up so you can say good night I sleep it all away but that’s all right It’s true No I never thought it would cost me dearly When I slipped away and I left completely so blue I still do No I’d never say that it’s just these records But it’s all the same when these precious seconds leave you But it’s true Yeah it’s too late to ever bring me back You pick me up and then we take the slack And wake me up so you can say good night I sleep it all away but that’s all right I do, I do
11.
I fled without a doubt when everyone blacked out And drifted through the haze asleep I locked myself away to save my dying day Then left without a trace for keeps But if I stole it back again, could we save it ‘til the end And if I lost this part of me, would it last or set us free Until this melts away my steadfast lazy days And breaks apart my bones with ease Just let me fade away on this my Labor Day And take me to a place I can breathe If I stole it back again, could we save it ‘til the end And if I lost this part of me, would it last or set us free If I walked it back someday Would things change or be the same Could I blow it all away? Would it burn or light the way If I stole it back again, could we save it ‘til the end And if I lost this part of me, would it last or set us free
12.
Ever After 04:17
From long ago but wide awake My camera plays the same mistakes But I can’t let it drown It’s on me Relive the film that won’t let go I can’t erase these things I know It always let’s me down Always I can’t define or pass the time It’s washed away but it’s still mine It’s really only ever after how long So long ago don’t want to know I can’t escape or gain control It’s only ever after really how long I sleep away these longest days And pray the Lord my soul to take But it won’t leave me now Someday I trace the thought and it’s time to go Can’t leave for naught when I always know That it can take me down It’s on me I can’t define or pass the time It’s washed away but it’s still mine It’s really only ever after how long So long ago don’t want to know I can’t escape or gain control It’s only ever after really how long
13.
Disappear 04:57
Turned from the light and disappeared And now there's nothing left of me And when I walked away from all those years I filled my cup but couldn’t sleep Gave away the silence of my mind Crashing toward electric speed Paid in full to justify the time Of my abandoned ecstasy Hiding when the lightning comes, with the flash you’ll see Crashing ‘til I disappear, that’s enough, that’s enough for me Left without the time but it's still mine Like a door without a key They crushed me and anesthetized my mind But only so I wouldn’t speak Gave away a suicidal line Just leave it as the best of me But please don't take my silence as a sign Save it as a memory Hiding when the lightning comes, with the flash you’ll see Crashing ‘til I disappear, that’s enough, that’s enough for me

about

Recurring Anxiety Dream is the fifth overall release and second full-length LP from Secret Sleep. Fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz...

credits

released November 10, 2020

All songs written by Jess Hoeffner
Mixed by Greg Thompson injuredear.com
Mastered by Andy VanDette andyvandette.com
Recorded by Jess Hoeffner
Cover photo by Jane Hoeffner
Album design by Jess Hoeffner
All songs copyright © 2020 Jess Hoeffner
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws

Jess Hoeffner: guitars, synths, vocals
Justin Bolker: bass
Gabe Toth: drums

Matt Moadel: drums on "Disappear"

Huge thanks to Greg Thompson, Justin Bolker, and Gabe Toth.

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Secret Sleep New York, New York

Secret Sleep is rock noise volume fuzz.

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